A couple years ago I was commiserating with a friend about how traveling with my then baby and toddler was the opposite of a relaxing vacation. She said something that stuck with me: "when you have young kids you take trips, not vacations." This simple statement really helped me reframe my own expectations; traveling doesn't look like it did back before we had kids. We're not spending time lounging by the pool, book and cocktail in hand, or going out late into the evenings. We are still woken up at 6 am, and have to attend to all the same 24/7 parenting tasks that we do at home: diaper changes, potty breaks, snack time, and temper tantrums.

However, when you reframe your idea of what travel looks like, I've found that everyone has more fun. We use the term "adventure" a lot with our kids, both describing weekend day trips or farther multi-day trips. I think the use of that word gives us all a mindset of being ready to engage, have fun, dig in, and tough it out in the hard moments. You have to bring your A Game when it's adventure time.

Connecting With My Family (Past and Present) Through Travel

My love of travel is something both my parents inspired in me. When I think about the adventures they embarked on, it motivates me to do the same, and to instill that same passion in our kids. My mom studied abroad when she was in college at the University of Vermont, back before it was as popular to do as it is now. I believe it was her first time out of the country; she lived in Sweden with a host family for a full academic year. She was a talented linguist, and could pick up languages quickly, a trait I (very unfortunately) did not inherit. My dad was a missionary kid and they lived abroad for much of his childhood, mostly in Ecuador and Switzerland.

When my parents met, while working at a resort in the Poconos in Pennsylvania, my mom had just graduated from college with a teaching degree. Teaching jobs were hard to come by at that time and she decided to move out to Breckenridge to live with one of her brothers (I love this Colorado connection in their story! It seems so serendipitous that I ended up here). My dad, who was still a year or so away from graduating, decided to quit college and follow my mom to Colorado. Rather quickly, they decided to move to Ecuador together, and eventually (I think quite possibly partially motivated by my grandmother's cajoling) they decided to get married before they embarked on their grand adventure.

And a grand adventure it was! They lived in Vilcabamba, a small village in a valley in the Andes Mountains, where they built their own house, had a small farm and a smattering of small business ventures, including starting a tiny restaurant and selling children's bonnets (my mom was quite crafty). I'm honestly not sure how they earned money, but the great thing was, they didn't need much. I was born a few years later, and my earliest memories, pieced together with photos and stories, live in that tiny Ecuadorian village.

The Importance of Traveling With Our Kids

Particularly since our kids' grandparents live out of state, we've traveled a lot with them since they were babies, typically involving flights (but we are recent converts to road trips as well!). We like to balance travel to see family with our own solo family adventures, and sometimes we mix the two in the same trip (which we are planning to do this summer on our New England Road Trip).

One of my favorite things about traveling is that I truly believe that getting out of your daily routine and experiencing different places opens up your heart and your mind...opens it to new perspectives, new people and cultures, and new ways to love. I always have my best and most creative ideas when I'm traveling. For kids, I think there is so much to be said for getting them out of their comfortable routine and helping them see the beauty and diversity in this world. They gain flexibility and selflessness by experiencing living in others' homes (often with different rules and norms). Most importantly, we get serious quality time as a family when we travel, and while there are are always ups and down with 24/7 togetherness, it's 100% worth it. The only thing I am certain about is you can't get this time back with them, and traveling ensures that you are creating memories together.

Our Spring Break Trip to Santa Barbara

We are very blessed to have wonderful family to visit in Santa Barbara; my aunt and uncle, who are my surrogate parents and very much grandparents to our kids (more on that later), live there for half of each year. We've made it a tradition to head out there for spring break, and it's probably my most anticipated trip of the year. Santa Barbara is special to us. I lived there for a couple years after college, and it's where Kaili and I had our first dates, first kiss, got engaged and got married.

Every year I say, "that was our best trip to Santa Barbara yet!" (well, except for the year all four of us were sick). We pack our days full of beach time, family time, going to the zoo and the science museum (super kid friendly/focused), and heading up to wine country (our favorite family friendly winery to visit is Dierberg Star Lane because of the big lawn for playing as well as the delicious wine). I think what makes it feel so balanced and perfect is the fact that we stay with our family and can break it up a bit: we got a babysitter one night so we could have an adults only dinner out. The grandparents also babysat one evening so we could go out to dinner with one of my best friends and her husband who live in the area. Kaili and our son went golfing one afternoon while our daughter napped and I read. We have favorite restaurants to visit like Arigato Sushi, and there are always new places to try. Santa Barbara is really a magical place; it simply fills my soul to be there and create new memories.

Traveling with kids certainly isn't a vacation. But as soon as you let go of that idea, I've found that, with new intention and perspective, it becomes a lot more meaningful. Common family experiences and adventures break you out of your comfort zone together, fostering growth, connection, and yes, even mindfulness.

I get antsy if I don't have a trip planned to look forward to...anyone else have this "problem"? So, I'm off to plan our summer trip.

***I love to hear about favorite family trips! If you have a moment, click on Contact and send me a quick note with your favorite trips, trips on the horizon, or travel with kids dilemmas that I might be able to address on the blog. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading!